If your horse is dead, dismount

Common sense: “If your horse is dead, dismount”.

Alternative common sense:

  1. Buy a stronger whip.
  2. Change riders.
  3. Appoint a committee to study the horse.
  4. Arrange to visit other countries to see how other cultures ride dead horses.
  5. Lower the standards so that dead horses can be included.
  6. Reclassify the dead horse as living-impaired.
  7. Hire outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
  8. Harness several dead horses together to increase speed.
  9. Provide additional funding and/or training to increase dead horse’s performance.
  10. Do a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse’s performance.
  11. Declare that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some other horses.
  12. Rewrite the expected performance requirements for all horses.

(found at Free Republic)

I would add #13: Teach kids that dead horses are as useful as live ones, and #14. Jail anyone who says that this is insane.

5 comments to If your horse is dead, dismount

  • David baker

    Great stuff i love it…….

  • Nice!

    In this paradigm that has more than run it’s disgusting course, we are unfortunately dealing with the Undead.

  • Country Codger

    Please bear with me.
    Years ago, a man had a wonderful mule that would plow the straightest rows that anyone had ever seen. The man’s neighbor kept begging him to sell him the mule. The owner always declined but finally, after he realized he was getting old, finally decided to sell the mule to the neighbor. The neighbor, very happy and proud, walked the mule into the barn for the night. The next morning the neighbor went out to start plowing with the mule and found it dead. He ran to the former owner’s and began yelling and screaming that he had been cheated. The former owner pointed out that the mule was a good mule and had died after he sold it.

    It was two months later and the mule’s former owner thought he should make some kind of apology and went over to his neighbor’s house. He knocked on the door and the neighbor came out smiling.

    Very humbly the former owner began, “I hope you don’t take this the wrong way…”

    “Forget about it. Forget about it,” the neighbor replied happily.
    “You’re not mad at me?” asked the former owner.
    “Goodness no”, replied the neighbor.
    “That is great! What happended?” asked the former owner.
    “Well, I got to thinking about what happened. So, I thought about how I paid you $100.00 for the mule. So I sold 1000 raffle tickets for a dollar and raffled the mule off,” replied the neighbor.
    Astonished the former owner replied, “But the mule was dead. Didn’t you make a whole lot of people mad?”
    Smiling the neighbor replied. “Only one, the winner, and I gave him his money back.”
    A dead mule is sold for 10 to 1 and the loser gets his money back. Welcome to the New World Order.
    C.

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