Obama Makes Campaign Speech to Diebold Voting Machines

By Jonathan D. Hodges

In a campaign stop through the Diebold Factory in Mapusa, India, President Barack Obama took time to speak to the machines that may very well decide the 2012 Presidential Election.

“In order of importance, my three favorite machines are you [Diebold], my teleprompter, and predator surveillance drones. My opponent underestimates your value and importance, so I urge you to make the correct choice this November.”
Most of the machines appeared skeptical throughout the speech – until the President began making promises of post-election favors to Diebold. “If elected, I promise you the following:
  • Durable vinyl covers for each machine to protect you from excess dust and sunlight during non-election years
  • Regularly scheduled maintenance to prevent unplanned software viruses and hardware malfunctions
  • Anything else to your hard drive’s desire
After making these promises, most of the voting machines lit up and began flashing pre-election results ranging from Obama 58% – Romney 42% to Obama 72% – Romney 18%.” Some of the machines were so excited that their systems started to crash, similar to Obama’s human supporters who faint at his campaign rallies.
Concluding his speech, the President said “You came through for my friend Rahm Emanuel in Chicago and Charles Rangel in NYC, and I have faith that you’ll rig the game for me as well. Thank you, and may Allah Bless America.”
~ End of Transcript

2 comments to Obama Makes Campaign Speech to Diebold Voting Machines

  • 4 more years of Obama, coming right up! Unless the Central Bankers decide Romney is more favorable to their long-term plans for the expansion of Israel, and global hegemony.

    • Izzy Serius

      Anyone who really thinks it makes a bit of difference if the CFR darling, Obama, or the Bilderberger boy, Romney, makes it into the presidency is sadly, sadly deluded.

      My family is a great example. The vast majority of them are all behind Romney thinking that it’s going to be “America’s second chance”. Absolutely, completely ridiculous and a pipe dream I tell them, but they accuse me (on cue) of being a “Obama supporter” of course of which I am not. I remind them I’m not voting and then (right on cue) they accuse me of being “unpatriotic” of which I proudly am! I’m not a statist and I don’t support the state. At all.

      Drop out, form your own community. Do what you know is right. Don’t obey people blindly.

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